Why conflict happens at work

The big question.... Why?

Opinions about why we have conflict in the workplace vary.  There are many factors that contribute and one of these has to be the unnatural environments that we all work in these days.  We were not built for close contact in offices and workplaces where many different people are crammed together for a regulated period of time.  We work in these places for long hours in the UK, longer than many.

Workplace hierarchies, lack of personal autonomy, family/home problems, clash of core values with another person, inappropriate or abusive behaviour, low levels of emotional intelligence , poor leadership and management, even office romances: the list could go on.  All these factors and others not mentioned here can be the cause of conflict at work.  

But what triggers it?  Why does it happen?  

It's that moment when tolerance becomes intolerance; that small instance where adversity takes over and dictates our response that's so interesting.  There are many studies into workplace conflict and although it's important to remember that it happens everywhere, it doesn't necessarily mean it has to be endemic or essential to our workplace interactions.  

There is another way.

Training people to become their own problem-solvers is a key method for avoiding workplace conflict.  So often as mediators, we hear of communication difficulties that lead to conflict, and it's a sad fact that this is a key skill that seems to be lacking in UK workplaces, and especially among management.  Back in 2008 this was the cry and now with the publication in 2011 of the, HMRC's staff survey, it's still a massive problem.

 But communication, not just the ability to write an email, but to speak and to listen, is highly prized and increasingly, it seems, difficult to achieve.  That's where mediation and training to become a mediator can address that deficit.

Mediation is a tool that's gaining in recognition as the means to significantly reduce workplace conflict.  It features in the Green Paper on Special Educational Needs reform and is part of the Coalition's commitment to change the culture in public sector workplaces.  Mediation teaches you how to listen when people talk, how to remain calm and maintain a "Non-anxious presence" (Edwin H Friedman), how to allow people to tell their story, how to remain non-judgmental and help people reach an agreement.   These are skills which seem to be in abeyance in the workplace if current surveys and articles are to be believed.

Making a difference is all about leaving a legacy, and if that can be about peace instead of conflict, then we really will have done something worthwhile.