Managing Anger

Book here for Peaceworks course on Managing Anger

Am I unusual?

The first thing to remember is that if you find you're getting angry, you're not abnormal or weird.  Anger is a basic human response to situations that challenge or thwart us in some way.  It's also a recognised response when we are faced with situations we don't understand and feel frightened. 

Where anger comes from

Anger is something we've developed over the course of human history to help with situations such as:

• Defending ourselves or our loved ones from attack
• Warning others not to take advantage of us
• Prompting outrage at injustice or wrongdoing leading to positive action against injustice
• Declaring our individuality, especially in such dangerous places as the playground

Is it on the rise?

Although Anger Management has been more visible as a means to control excessive anger, it doesn't necessarily mean that out-of-control anger is on the rise.  Many people have suffered as a result of this phenomenon and there are some very high profile examples in history and the present day.

Who else has a temper?

1.    English King, Henry the Eighth had a terrible temper, flying into uncontrollable rages when thwarted

2.    Mike Tyson, world heavyweight boxer, has a famous temper

3.    Naomi Campbell, supermodel, is famed for her angry outbursts and attacks on bystanders and press officials

4.    The former Italian dictator Mussolini was an angry man, not scrupling to vent his anger on anyone who happened to be near enough

Getting control

However, if you're not in control of your anger at any time, and find that it is controlling you, leading to actions that hinder rather than help, you might need to consider managing that anger. 

How much is normal?

Think of it as a sliding scale: at one end are the usual, "in proportion" angry responses to incidents that threaten us or our loved ones and at the other, out-of-proportion reactions resulting in you losing control.

Incident creating anger

Proportionate response_______________________________Disproportionate response
In control                                                                                        Not in control

If you find you're at the "Disproportionate" end of the scale you could think about ways to tackle your response either by finding out more about what happens when you get angry, or come along to Peaceworks course on Anger Management and look at some practical ways to get a handle on your anger.

The facts about disproportionate anger

It can:

• Damage your health through affecting your blood pressure and digestion
• Damage your relationships with other people
• Limit your achievements at work
• Affect the way people see you as a person
• Give a negative impression about your personality
• Result in a criminal record

What does disproportionate anger look like?

Have a look at this list of symptoms and see if you recognise any from the "Disproportionate" end of the scale.

• A pattern of repeating the same angry words or deeds in particular situations.
• An inclination to shout at people or to use violent words.
• A tendency to brood or fantasise about angry scenes with people.
• An inability to deal with difficult situations without becoming angry.
• A temptation or recourse to violence, possibly resulting in trouble with the law.
• A reliance on getting angry to make you feel better.
• Substituting getting angry about a problem for solving or learning to live with that problem.
• Anger-linked health problems such as hypertension or digestive trouble.
• Being recognised as an angry person and so teased, appeased or feared by others.
• Having a strong prejudice against strangers because of their race, gender, etc.
• Avoiding situations because you fear your temper.

(From university of Sheffield)

If you recognise more than one or two of these symptoms, you could take action to control your anger.  Make it a priority and get your life back.