Active Listening

What is Active Listening? 

Active listening is a technique used in communication.  It works by repeating back what you have heard the other person say through using paraphrasing.  This means restating everything you've heard the other person say so that they can see you've been listening to what they've been telling you.

The advantages of using this technique are many.  It tends to affirm your sincerity when you have gone to some lengths to reassure the person you are communicating with that you really are listening.  It also means that nothing gets taken for granted during the conversation. 

There's nothing more off-putting than knowing that the person you're speaking to is just waiting for you to finish what you're saying so that they can tell you all about them.  Active listening is a way of making sure that the other person knows they've been heard.

There are some key elements of active listening that help to ensure you hear the other person, and they know you are both hearing and understanding what they are saying.  These are:

1. Pay close attention.

2. Give the speaker your undivided attention.

3.  Acknowledge the message.

4.  Recognize nonverbal clues to their message.

5.  Look directly at the speaker.

6.  Avoid distracting thoughts or mentally prepare your response!

7.  Avoid distractions from environmental factors.

8. “Listen” to and visually “read” the speaker’s body language.

9. Demonstrate you are listening.

10. Nod occasionally to show your interest.

11. Use your own body language and gestures to convey your attention.

12. Smile and use other facial expressions.

13. Make sure your posture is open and inviting.

14. Encourage the speaker to continue with small verbal comments like ‘yes’, and ‘uh huh.’

15. Provide feedback. What we hear can be distorted by our personal assumptions, judgments, and beliefs. To understand what is being said, you need to reflect the message back and ask questions.

16. Paraphrase. “What I’m hearing is…” and “So what you mean is…” and “If I understand you correctly...”

17. Ask questions to clarify particular points. “What do you mean when you say…?” “Is this what you mean?”

18. Summarise the speaker’s comments regularly.

19. Postpone judgment. Interrupting frustrates the speaker, shows a lack of respect, and limits full understanding of the message.

20. Allow the speaker to finish.

21. Don’t interrupt with counterarguments

22. Respond Appropriately. Active listening is a model for respect and understanding. You are gaining information and perspective.

23. Be sincere, open, and honest in your response.

24. Assert your opinions respectfully.

25.Treat the other person as he or she would want to be treated.

If you would like to learn more about communication skills, see the Communication skills page on our website or enrol on the training course http://www.peaceworks.org.uk/training-dates

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